The Dark Place

Arriving here early has afforded me a lot of time to think. My normal life allows for little of it.
I spent an hour on my bike today - just me and my I pod. I got to thinking about the upcoming race and it occurred to me that I was looking forward to racing in a way I hadn't in a great many years. I'm not sure why that is but, as I said, I've had time to think and this is what I've come up with: at first I was thinking that maybe I was keen because my fitness is higher than it has been in a good long time. Still, in relative terms I'm not near as fit as I was twenty years ago when I took racing much more seriously. I know that in the grand scheme of things I will be in the top 50 % of my age group. But in a way it is about fitness. The thing is, I've got this feeling that because of my increaseed fitness this Saturday I just might be able to go to the Dark Place. You need a certain level of fitness to go there. Three presidents have sat in the oval office since I've been there.
Now I'm not talking about the "Peter Reid" dark place - that time in an IM when you are beseeched by dark thoughts and a feeling that things are lost. I'm talking about that place you can go in racing and training where everything around you dims except the effort and the pain - and you embrace the pain. You toy with it and you test its limits.
I think might be able to go there this Saturday. Its been a long time since my last visit and I'm both nervous and excited. It feels like I've made a date with an old lover I remember only with fondness - yet in the back of my mind I know there's a reason why she is an ex.
I am probably thinking too much.
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